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Cassandra. (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
A brittle expression, emotional constipation hidden underneath obscured by yellow-pearl teeth. (and they call that a smile.) soft tone of voice, vague by choice, insecure moon eyes avoid my glare, quick to change the subject, secretive troubled by her psychotic flare. (she hates being under the spotlight.) sensitive and dependent on acceptance addicted to notions of love, fairy tales, believes she can seduce me with a dance clings to me and purrs and ultimately fails. (risk nothing, win nothing, shrivel up in solitude bitch.) I am not your saviour, this armor of mine doesn't shine for you, it is but a mirror without pity, without denial, and cruel in its honesty. (she dismisses everything, how defensive...) risk nothing, win nothing, shrivel up in solitude bitch. smoke some more crystal and twitch this armor of mine doesn't shine for you, so don't dance in it's light.

Down the ladder: Secret Love

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.537883
Overall Rank: 2572
Posted: August 3, 2004 4:17 AM PDT; Last modified: August 3, 2004 4:17 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.70 | 3-Aug-04/8:59 AM | Reply
I'd like to see the rythm a bit smoother. I like this.
[8] Shardik @ 24.130.62.63 | 3-Aug-04/12:09 PM | Reply
Good god, you still blowing the water pipe over there with carrie? Does not the buckets of blood slighly staunch the buzz?
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 66.248.82.141 > Shardik | 1-Sep-04/6:12 PM | Reply
Not really. :)
[8] MacFrantic @ 198.81.26.16 | 3-Aug-04/10:30 PM | Reply
Worthy of a dice toss at least
*12* wait...*2*...wait *8*
[8] Stacy Stewart @ 208.20.95.32 | 8-Dec-04/7:26 AM | Reply
Aahh I'm going through this right now:
Believes HE can seduce me with a dance
Clings to me and purrs and ultimately fails.

To put it bluntly it this poem was a car your transmission just slipped.
Overall I thought this poem was lacking in rhythm.


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