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Poem #9 (Free verse) by katinchina On the tracks of the train
The sides of the mountain
Bursting with green lush
Dotted villages busy with life
Air fresh and pleasant
The rain pelting the land with hope
Right here in a ditch on the side
A man lay awkwardly and died
The train moved and the rain stopped
Up the ladder:
pondering
Down the ladder:
A child's father
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Posted: July 31, 2004 8:23 PM PDT; Last modified: July 31, 2004 8:23 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.928861 Overall Rank: 9261 Comments:
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I want to use my other standard line about showing not telling, but then I'd start to sound rude. Can't have that.
I like the idea, btw, of painting this generic but lovely picture, then exposing a specific memorable element - but the rest of this is distracting me.