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the wind outside (Free verse) by Emma
The fire alarm Outside the staircase Of my apartment Shakes in the wind The metal door flaps and bangs back into place With a dull metallic clang When I’m out on the walkway having a cigarette And I can see the street There used to be a tree growing here That I could look at But one spring its leaves never budded And they came and cut it down And took it away I can still see where it stuck out of the sidewalk Trees in an urban landscape Trying to grow out of flower pots And rectangles cut in the concrete One year the tree outside my apartment building gave up and now there’s just a rectangle of dirt in the concrete the light bulbs in the lights that light the walkway outside my apartment door burn out and get replaced sporadically maybe the tree will get replaced the sound of the door of the fire alarm in the wind clang clang will remind me of home I’ve never heard that sound before And maybe in many years When these rooms are just a distant memory And I can barely remember the purple colour I painted the bathroom I think I’ll remember the sound Of having a cigarette in the wind Listening to the fire alarm door

Up the ladder: Drive on
Down the ladder: untitled rhyme royal 3

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Weighted score: 4.928861
Overall Rank: 9245
Posted: March 14, 2007 9:56 PM PDT; Last modified: March 14, 2007 9:56 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] richa @ 81.179.219.225 | 15-Mar-07/12:05 PM | Reply
I can't really see a fire alarm shaking in the wind. The whole smoking and reminiscing about the clang of a door is a bit dull. There are a couple of promising ideas here. The tree that doesn't bud one spring and is removed and the lights that burn out then bringing the poem back to 'maybe the tree will get replaced'. I like that.
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