A Forever Splintered Heart

Member since 2003 · Posted 25 Jul 2004 · 1 comment

Flaking off integrity from faces Sown with satisfaction Passing over life's infractions Living hour to hour Struck by Cupid's arrow under Observation so befitting Ugly love debunked by spitting Passions turning sour Unrelenting cries of desperation Laced with tortured sorrow Threatening our plans tomorrow Fraught with falling grace Neon sign above the door has given Less than it has gotten Sins of flesh and lovers rotten Flaws unmasked unspoken Forever splintered heart is often Fleeing to a destination Hazy reddened concentration Bleeding never broken

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mean 3.67 weighted 4.84 rank 10658 views 217 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

1 comment

[7] Shuushin 27-Jul-04/10:52 AM Reply

this style always strikes me as little "list-like" as I have trouble with the line-to-line transitions. One gets the sense the lines exist solely to rhyme.

the fourth ("Neon...") stanza works pretty well I think, no?

A tough genre to break new ground with though.