DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Summer

Member since 2004 · Posted 22 Jul 2004 · 7 comments

Redwinged blackbirds rest in the cattails Tarnished cornstalks six feet high Lazy rustle in sultry poplars Tennessee slows to life in July He stands with sleeves rolled up to the elbow hoe-hardened bulges on sun browned arms Gently caressing a smile and a sundress Lemonade brought from the house.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.67 weighted 6.95 rank 160 views 319 View voting details →

12 votes so far. Yours would make 13.12 votes so far

7 comments

[10] INTRANSIT 22-Jul-04/11:02 AM Reply

love the cadence.

[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 22-Jul-04/11:31 AM Reply

Thanks. Maybe like the rumble of an 18-wheeler?

[10] INTRANSIT › Dovina 22-Jul-04/12:03 PM Reply

no. much much nicer.

[9] Nateislate 22-Jul-04/12:24 PM Reply

Very nice one.

[9] Dan garcia-Black 22-Jul-04/7:45 PM Reply

Good images. The meter hold true throughout until the end. I guess if you're going to break rhythm that's the place to do it. But, somehow, the loss of those two beats at the end of the last line is disconcerting.

[8] Bachus 23-Jul-04/12:46 AM Reply

Last line would do better to rhyme as the first stanza did.

[9] eyrbare 3-Aug-04/7:29 PM Reply

Lovely poem, great image!