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Summer (Free verse) by Dovina Redwinged blackbirds rest in the cattails
Tarnished cornstalks six feet high
Lazy rustle in sultry poplars
Tennessee slows to life in July
He stands with sleeves rolled up to the elbow
hoe-hardened bulges on sun browned arms
Gently caressing a smile and a sundress
Lemonade brought from the house.
Up the ladder:
<{Grasping^Grendals}>
Down the ladder:
Scorpion feet lucky rabbit
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.6666665
Posted: July 22, 2004 10:49 AM PDT; Last modified: July 22, 2004 10:49 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.9494896 Overall Rank: 167 Comments:
[10]
INTRANSIT @ 149.174.164.15
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22-Jul-04/11:02 AM
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Reply
love the cadence.
[n/a]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
> INTRANSIT
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22-Jul-04/11:31 AM
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Reply
Thanks. Maybe like the rumble of an 18-wheeler?
[10]
INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.147
> Dovina
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22-Jul-04/12:03 PM
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no. much much nicer.
Very nice one.
Good images. The meter hold true throughout until the end. I guess if you're going to break rhythm that's the place to do it. But, somehow, the loss of those two beats at the end of the last line is disconcerting.
Last line would do better to rhyme as the first stanza did.
Lovely poem, great image!
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