poemranker ::Guide by skaskowski

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Free verse № 106

Guide

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 3 comments

Childhood fades away with felling night, and life infuses new delight. Between the stones of life and death is room for but one faulty breath. My voice has changed, by mind is grey I only see the cobwebs now My heart has changed, my soul is grey I only feel the spiders now! Take me HOME! Back to where my life began.. Lead me to a place where I Can lose my sight and still have eyes... Be my guide... I can feel my lifetime slipping through my fingers, i need more Hands, more hands to catch this sand This sand that lets the pain seep through. My face has changed, my eyes are gone I only hear the sirens now My touch has changed, my skin is gone I only feel the needles now! Take me HOME! Home to where my spirit sleeps, Carry me to someplace warm A place where my hope can redeform... Be my guide...

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mean 4.29 weighted 4.38 rank 13004 views 311 View voting details →

17 votes so far. Yours would make 18.17 votes so far

3 comments

[4] anonymous 1-Jul-01/1:28 AM Reply
I find all caps to be an over-emphasis. (HOME!) The exclamation point should be enough. The "Be my guide..." seems to peter out after so much heavy emphasis throughout. The real problem here is angst without a subject -- why does this person feel this way?
[4] anonymous 9-Sep-01/2:31 PM Reply
catch your cadance dear, it's running away from you. nice imagery though...
[4] anonymous 22-Apr-02/9:27 PM Reply
I don't much like exclamation marks and all caps. It leaves a bad tone in my head.