Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Guide (Free verse) by skaskowski
Childhood fades away with felling night, and life infuses new delight. Between the stones of life and death is room for but one faulty breath. My voice has changed, by mind is grey I only see the cobwebs now My heart has changed, my soul is grey I only feel the spiders now! Take me HOME! Back to where my life began.. Lead me to a place where I Can lose my sight and still have eyes... Be my guide... I can feel my lifetime slipping through my fingers, i need more Hands, more hands to catch this sand This sand that lets the pain seep through. My face has changed, my eyes are gone I only hear the sirens now My touch has changed, my skin is gone I only feel the needles now! Take me HOME! Home to where my spirit sleeps, Carry me to someplace warm A place where my hope can redeform... Be my guide...

Up the ladder: Hedgehog's Dilemma
Down the ladder: Pi

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 12
.. 01
.. 21
.. 21
.. 21
.. 00
.. 10
.. 20

Arithmetic Mean: 4.2941175
Weighted score: 4.378261
Overall Rank: 13022
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:14 AM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[4]... anonymous @ | 1-Jul-01/1:28 AM | Reply
I find all caps to be an over-emphasis. (HOME!) The exclamation point should be enough. The "Be my guide..." seems to peter out after so much heavy emphasis throughout. The real problem here is angst without a subject -- why does this person feel this way?
[4]... anonymous @ | 9-Sep-01/2:31 PM | Reply
catch your cadance dear, it's running away from you. nice imagery though...
[4]... anonymous @ | 22-Apr-02/9:27 PM | Reply
I don't much like exclamation marks and all caps. It leaves a bad tone in my head.
311 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001