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Path (Free verse) by Rlee
Path Off the beaten path My heart satin box is light Seeking blue ribbon horizons Under weary plague Cured----- for now Hot roadside dust clinging Filling the well of this soul I found the wrong side played too long Turning into a one way mile circled to the beginning Long lost friend standing here again. The hillside hum pierced my ear ??? hollow Sung sweetly to a distant yesteryear I ache wild- like a pony --- express Destined, escaping briefly the trap doors in life. Jealous draped green etched as a guide bringing the blind masses on my journey I test fate using my compass sense Pulled to an unseen conclusion Knowing no bound to direction Loosely gliding always trying -----to capture Home inside one's self. Thick haze filters in mockingly Take me back, take me back Off the beaten path

Up the ladder: My Angel
Down the ladder: Waltz

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.25
Weighted score: 4.672192
Overall Rank: 12194
Posted: August 21, 2002 4:51 PM PDT; Last modified: August 21, 2002 4:51 PM PDT
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Comments:
[0] god'swife @ 209.179.135.105 | 21-Aug-02/7:18 PM | Reply
throw this away and start over. I sense you have something valuable to say, but it's lost amid the self-agrandizing word play. Stick to the idea you're trying to express. Less is mucho mas more.
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