Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

she. (Free verse) by opiate
Out of the clay of nothingness and dirt, An artist sculpted my love story, Her statuesque is intertwined with mine; With Stars shining in her hair, my fairy tinuviel, Searching and wandering for her, time immemorial, Her love is like an age old wine; She walk the street at night, into the blue light, On Pegasys, wings fluttered, moon-chasing, starry ride, Lips kiss, comets will collide, skies will shine; Holding her hand, walking, kissing, loving, talking, Free as birds, weightless as astronauts, moon-walking, Dancing and tracing, romancing, eyes in line; Laying in arms, thrown back, legs intertwined, Elves singing, angels serving, in heavens we dine, A tear to a thought, her gentle touch, she is all mine.

Up the ladder: Repression
Down the ladder: Knives

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 20
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20

Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7603
Posted: May 15, 2004 6:16 PM PDT; Last modified: May 15, 2004 6:16 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 | 15-May-04/6:37 PM | Reply
TOLKEIN IS DEAD. Unless you are Tolkein frozen cryogenically within minutes of death and then subsequently revived, which you are plainly not, please refrain from appropriating images, motifs and names (tinuviel) from The Lord of The Rings. Otherwise go to one of the multitudinous fanfic sites where you can write about gimli assraping an elf.

Thank you
[n/a] opiate @ 203.128.1.7 > Sasha | 17-May-04/11:50 AM | Reply
Ok dude .. in no way was i inspired by LOTR .. and yes i like to visualise and use descriptions that help others visualise .. u have a problem with that?
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > opiate | 17-May-04/2:06 PM | Reply
Where'd Tinuviel come from then?
[n/a] opiate @ 202.84.223.166 > Sasha | 22-May-04/9:52 AM | Reply
sorry to break it to you kiddo .. but tinuviel was also in greek mythology .. i wish you'd look things up before you speak.
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > opiate | 22-May-04/10:48 AM | Reply
Elves don't tho'
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > opiate | 22-May-04/10:54 AM | Reply
For that matter neither do fairies
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > opiate | 22-May-04/11:02 AM | Reply
I don't remember Tinuviel from any Greek mythology, and unless you can prove otherwise, I'm inclined to thinking you're BSing me. Here's why:

No greek words (including names) end in a Lambda or "L" sound It's always a vowel or Sigma or Nu.

Ancient Greek has no "V" sound.

So the name is obviously not Greek.

It's actually "Nightengale" in one of the Elvish languages Tolkein was making up with his more-abundant-than-is-healthy spare time.
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > Sasha | 22-May-04/11:06 AM | Reply
Sasha 69.138.236.6322-May-04/11:05 AM
Oh, one other thing.

If the word had been borrowed from Greek via Latin, then it could have a mute consonant ending (Like the borrowed "Iliad") but the romans took the greek upsilon ("u" sound) and always transcribed it with a "Y".

So the Romans never had it, the Greeks never had it.

I guess you must know more about Greek mythology than the Greeks themselves did.

[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > Sasha | 22-May-04/11:06 AM | Reply
You Fail
[0] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 > Sasha | 4-Jun-04/6:06 PM | Reply
*gloats*
[8] titan69 @ 62.31.28.59 | 16-May-04/1:00 AM | Reply
Ilike this poem well done
[7] Bobjim @ 212.135.1.80 | 17-May-04/5:01 AM | Reply
Isn't it spelt "pegasus"?
[n/a] opiate @ 203.128.1.7 > Bobjim | 17-May-04/11:49 AM | Reply
it can be spelt either way..
150 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001