| regarding some deleted poem... |
24-May-05/11:23 PM |
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I really do not care what other people like. Have you seen what people watch on television? The world is full of rather non-intelligent people. I am one of them. If you think that just because you or others can string letters into words and then into a quality poem, then have at it. Crap is crap. Most of the stuff submitted to this site is crap, but I have dedicated myself to read each and every poem and then vote on them. I have miss voted in the past due to retardation on my part. I am changing all of my votes to reflect my new vision. Write good stuff. As to speed of read, some of the poets here actually require thoughtful consideration. I am saving them for last. Infantile or baby talk or newly discovered gonads and such are very over used. On most poems all I can say is yuck. I am not talking of yours specifically, but, I have to read this crap because I post here. It is my duty. If crap is posted, I give a zero.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-May-05/12:07 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-May-05/4:39 PM |
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It would present better if you did not try to get fancy with the spacing. This is not one of your better pieces.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-May-05/6:45 PM |
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This is really just a very poor sort of remake of a religious text. I can be considered cute. It is not good.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-May-05/11:36 AM |
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If you left off the last stanza. I think you overwork your pieces. You need less thought and more feeling.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-May-05/7:47 PM |
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Just another masterbation.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-May-05/7:33 AM |
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You are not serious! This is more laundry list than anything...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-May-05/7:36 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-May-05/7:38 AM |
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There is not enough character given to your oil pump.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-May-05/1:42 PM |
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It needs to jump up and say I am an oil pump. It lacks feeling. It is a nice mixing of the two forms of fuel.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-May-05/8:33 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-May-05/8:10 AM |
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You do this so well. Must be the rhythm.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Jun-05/7:35 PM |
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I knew you had a modicum of talent.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Jun-05/8:45 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Jun-05/8:46 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Jun-05/8:53 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
8-Jun-05/6:40 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Jun-05/7:46 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Jun-05/11:54 AM |
Line 12---I know this is picking nits, but you asked. I started reading it aloud. It has very nice rhythm, but I stumbled at thinking about 'hateful shoes', wondering if shoes could hate and how the hate in the shoes affected the critter--- 'hated shoes' or some variation flows better for me...
WHOLE THIRD STANZA---DELETE
4th stanza--- 'heâs capable to steer'--- he capably steers
5th stanza grates a bit, it is basically good, but is lacking something... I can't tell what.
The last stanza ties everything together great!
You Asked For It. You Got It. rockmage
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Jun-05/7:13 AM |
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I began to crack up at the second stanza. Good Job! Probably not the reaction you where going for
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