on Provacation by J.B. Manning
20 Aug 2003, 3:54 PM
-7-
on Nothing you can say by Rodavlas
13 Jul 2003, 5:56 PM
"Maybe it's time that i shut up
I think if you shut up it would be best for all of us.
I think if you shut up it would be best for all of us.
on some deleted poem
28 Jun 2003, 7:51 AM
Too unoriginal
on some deleted poem
27 Jun 2003, 12:11 PM
Finally you write something not about love...i think its pretty good but it could you some more work, you should think about doing maybe a second draft
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2003, 5:32 PM
"the sun shines through my tears
and burns away all my fears"
Brilliant, truly brilliant
and burns away all my fears"
Brilliant, truly brilliant
on some deleted poem
13 Jun 2003, 10:47 PM
Not bad, i disagree with you jim, it is anything but perfect, but good nonetheless
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2003, 11:28 AM
Wait i'm confused....y is it called mystery?? 8
on some deleted poem
20 May 2003, 8:46 PM
Nice job. It sez ruf copy so i hope to see he final 1 comin soon
on Simple Can (Relic) by Liver by Shardik
21 Sep 2003, 6:45 AM
hahahahhahahhahahahaha
on some deleted poem
21 Sep 2003, 6:47 AM
[X] AABB rhyming scheme
[_] About romantic love
[_] About poetry-writing
[_] About suicide or self-mutilation
[_] Arbitrary indentation
[_] Arbitrary line breaks
[_] Autobiographical but in the third person
[_] Clerical errors
[X] Cliched imagery (staring out of window, pits of despair)
[_] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.)
[X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments
[_] Devoid of rhyme
[_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices
[_] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery
[_] Drug references
[_] Elves, unicorns, etc.
[_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits'
[_] Insipidly whimsical or zany
[_] Leaving rant
[_] Lower case only
[X] 'Lyrics'
[_] Melodramatic
[_] Naively religious or superstitious
[_] Obsessed with femininity
[_] Overabundance of ellipses
[_] Overuse of 'depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness, etc)
[_] Pointedly unanswered questions
[_] Protagonist has a smug name
[_] Rage against the machine
[_] References to the author's 'social life'
[_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea
[_] Sanctimoniously moral
[X] Self-obsessed
[_] Sentimental
[_] Thesaurophilia
[_] Use of internet shorthand or emoticons
[_] About romantic love
[_] About poetry-writing
[_] About suicide or self-mutilation
[_] Arbitrary indentation
[_] Arbitrary line breaks
[_] Autobiographical but in the third person
[_] Clerical errors
[X] Cliched imagery (staring out of window, pits of despair)
[_] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.)
[X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments
[_] Devoid of rhyme
[_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices
[_] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery
[_] Drug references
[_] Elves, unicorns, etc.
[_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits'
[_] Insipidly whimsical or zany
[_] Leaving rant
[_] Lower case only
[X] 'Lyrics'
[_] Melodramatic
[_] Naively religious or superstitious
[_] Obsessed with femininity
[_] Overabundance of ellipses
[_] Overuse of 'depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness, etc)
[_] Pointedly unanswered questions
[_] Protagonist has a smug name
[_] Rage against the machine
[_] References to the author's 'social life'
[_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea
[_] Sanctimoniously moral
[X] Self-obsessed
[_] Sentimental
[_] Thesaurophilia
[_] Use of internet shorthand or emoticons
on Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
12 Feb 2004, 3:53 PM
-5-
on some deleted poem
16 Feb 2004, 11:38 AM
not completely awful