Re: a comment on The Same by newdawnfades	19-Sep-03/9:29 AM
Well I have about 3 years of memory research under my belt, so current research suggests it is true. But I usually don't aim for logic in my poetry, it's more of a case of just saying what feels appropriate, even if it isn't correct in the real world.
Re: a comment on The Same by newdawnfades	18-Sep-03/2:29 PM
Actually we do have memories of common experiences, it's because they are not unique that they 'combine' and form one experience. But I see where you are getting at, a mass implies an ever growing accumulation, whereas it should be a stasis of memory, where memories combine. Thanks for the suggestions, NDF
Re: a comment on Call Me by newdawnfades	20-Feb-03/5:30 PM
Actually that was the heart. These breasts don't carry milk.
Re: a comment on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof	24-Jan-03/3:36 PM
Great job, simple but effective and original.
Re: a comment on She Seeks To Know Me by newdawnfades	3-Jan-03/9:58 PM
Yeah, the 'in to' portion was supposed to be together, my mistake. 'lost as my tears in her rain' is a good suggestion, I like the idea behind it. The feeling I was trying to evoke was a 'sad distance' if that makes sense. This may not accurately translate if I were to change it. I would definitely have to restructure the previous line if I were to make it work. I may have to think about that a little, good idea nonetheless. Thanks.
Re: a comment on Absence by newdawnfades	19-Nov-02/7:34 PM
Good point about the oversimplification, I guess when I wrote it that wasn't really a consideration as much as the purpose of the poem. This poem was actually based on an experience I had hiking in the mountains by myself. There were a number of trees in the woods, but one very tall tree that this bird was circling, I guess I got a little lazy with my description on that one. The gender didn't really matter, it was more that I wanted to personify absence. The absence was so real that day that I felt confronted by it. My intent was for the poem to be somewhat ambiguous, as I prefer the poem to be applicable in any way the reader interprets it, so that could be a question of taste. But I can totally relate with your feeling of discontinuity when reading it. It came across that way to me also. Thanks for the input.
Re: a comment on Absence by newdawnfades	19-Nov-02/4:19 PM
Thanks for the reply, but be specific. What would make this a better attempt? Any constructive criticism is welcome. :) BTW, this is by no means a finished product. Lines 7-10 interrupt the flow of the poem, but I haven't thought of a replacement yet. I'll check Christof's stuff out. Ha! I don't imagine the mullet ratio is very high on this site, thank God.