| Re: Everything That You've Ever Wanted by drnick |
9-Feb-06/10:40 PM |
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don't be so hard on yourself--the imagery isn't bad. Neither is the poem.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Feb-06/10:42 PM |
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| Re: The Acorn Daisies by MacFrantic |
9-Feb-06/10:45 PM |
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Not sure I know what "acorn daisies" are, but this is pretty good. Like the last couple of lines, especially.
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| Re: My Fatherâs World by Dovina |
9-Feb-06/10:50 PM |
"I proudly showed one too" is pretty good. "A canvas tarp on his shoulder heaved" is a little tortured though. There are a lot of things you could rhyme with leaves without flipping the "heaved" line.
Would a working class guy who uses words like gumption know that unction means ointment? seems like a funny word to use.
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