Re: drum circle by <~>	16-Aug-02/1:53 PM
'lo. this is what i think. stanzas three and four weaken the poem and are unnecessary. crepusculation throws me off. it seems... forced? otherwise, some nice rhythm and phrasing. this poem could, in general, use a good tightening up. there are strong parts indeed, but which are overall weakened by unnecessary lines. i would call this a good, first (or second?) draft, me, in terms of the sort of revision which should be attempted here. contact me if you'd like further detail about this.
Re: close to you and can't be still by silvertongueddevil	14-May-02/2:16 PM
I am intrigued by the last stanza, but the first couple of lines (of first stanza) kill it for me.
Re: Sperm Donor Clown by ObiWonKn	10-May-02/3:03 PM
ha! funny poems are so rare.