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The words of touch (Free verse) by TheVoiceless

Eyes won’t open to see rising objects, Can’t quit falling. Downward spiral never ending, Hitting bottom, fatal. You can’t see the truth, Eyes won’t open to be read. You’re still seen beneath closed eyes, Apparent in dreams; you are. Asked for company, within your bed, Breath taken baby blue eyes gazed, Put me in a trance, dazed. An angel wrapped in comforting arms. My hands delicately traced form of body. Finally a chance to talk… Did the words of touch make you shiver? Did your heart melt? Was there anything felt? Or was my touch as voiceless as myself. Answer that by looking within yourself.

horus8 19-Sep-03/4:13 PM
[x] AABBCC rhyming scheme [x] About romantic love [x] Arbitrary indentation [x] Arbitrary line breaks [x] Autobiographical but in the third person [x] Clerical errors [x] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.) [_] Cliched adolescent metaphors of darkness for despair etc. [x] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [_] Devoid of rhyme [_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [_] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery [x] Drug references [_] Elves, unicorns, etc. [_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits' [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [_] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [x] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [_] Overuse of Latinate words and/or convoluted sentence structures [x] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Protagonist has a smug name [_] Rage against the machine [_] References to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea [x] Sanctimoniously moral [x] Sappy _[] Self-pity [_] Suicide-related [x] Wish fulfilment




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