horus818 Jan 2003

My opinion of your poem at second glance gave me the feeling that you dug to deep, and or 'tried too hard'. which is very common at this level of poetic 'excellence'. lol. Perhaps write a pretty, and simple sonnet..to get back to nature. You use very descriptive and powerful words..to many three syllabel words in a row can play fuckidge on the tongue. If you can dig. other than that. I feel that you've gotten off here at a galloping start. I detect something familiar about your writing, but...it doesn't matter. congradulations on the 8 and poem. Enjoy your stay here.