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Turmoil (Free verse) by ThoughtfulSoul

Violence conquers over all Thoughts of suicide race in many minds No one feels for the ones lost in the flow of society Someone has been mugged Someone has been killed Someone has been raped Do you care? Do I care? Does anyone care? We are together, but yet we are all on our own The darkness calls through use of wind in the night like a savior coming to heal our old wounds We know of each other, but do we know each other For some death is a release from what has been a painful existence It's like irony for the soul To think that in a world filled with so many of the same species that small things keep us far away from each other To the people feeling all alone do know that there is so many like you All the killing All the rape All the hatred We must love chaos cause it surrounds us And we flock to it like birds to the pieces of bread on the floor

Bachus 15-Jan-03/9:29 PM
"but yet we are all on are own" are should be our.
"We are together, but yet we are all on are own

The darkness calls through use of wind in the night like a savior coming
to heal our old wounds".
this mass of words should be combined and compressed more vertical into four together sentences like the other stanzas in your poem...and the rest is great have a 7..with corrections, i wouldn't be suprised to see this getting 8's and 9's and even a the rare 10. trust me.




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