Replying to a comment on:

An Enchanting Vision of Beauty (Free verse) by dalva

She is a vision that evokes emotions of joy and delight, which stirs in the marrow of my heart. Like a waterfall, her beautiful hair flows gracefully down her lovely porcelain face making its way over her soft round shoulders. Like an eclipse of the sun, her deep dark eyes captivate my attention endlessly. Her soft voice is like the sound of a symphony, harmonious and eloquent. Her presence is like a soft summers breeze, tranquil and serene. Only one thing is more gratifying than her heavenly image and that is the secret person of the heart. The inner beauty of her heart is like a sunken treasure, only a few have seen it, but none posses its radiant magnificence. As my heart breaks with the weight of sadness, I think to myself, will I ever look upon a lovelier flower like her?

horus8 31-Oct-02/12:47 AM
change last line "like" her to "than" her...it would be great...have a nine also.. and it is prose, but so what....just list it next time as other.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001