Caducus21 Jul 2006

The images are conjured vividly and the stronger opening helps. The ending was a bit of a letdown as I got the impression throughout that this was going to be a chilled out poem about driving around in the elements and in the end i think you xcranked the gears and spun out out control (pardon the cheesy pun).

If you made this about six or so lines shorter it could be a really cool piece.

Dont get me wrong its good, worth a 7 or 8 in my opinion but not the finished piece it could be.