Replying to a comment on:

A Love Potion (Free verse) by forsaken

I'm not sure how to put this but I'll do the best I can Cause when you're around me all I want is the priviledge of being your man Everytime I see your smiling face My heart begins to race I melt with every look into your eyes When I think of your beauty my soul cries I know of the pain you feel It saddens me when you speak of love not being real Allow me to show you how love can be Open up your arms and come dance with me Let your heart leave your body as I take it for a trip Trust in me cause I couldn't bear to see your heart rip You're the reason for the joy that's in my day Even when you're not in my view you're still there someway Believe me when I say I don't want to see you hurt as I already care Allow me this chance to heal your wounds so you can know life can be fair I'm not saying I want to be your white knight cause I already love the way you are I'm just saying I'd like to be the one there for you when everyone else seems so far I know sometimes I might not seem all that stable So you might be thinking that these things I promise aren't able But don't you know anythings possible with a little devotion You deserve the best so that's what I'll give as you'll be thinking that you've been drinking somekind of love potion

amanda_dcosta 18-Jun-06/11:18 PM
A nice title. And a good read.

But there seems to be no consistencey in time and metre and its as if some lines are like chewing gum. They've been pulled and stretched.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001