poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on Won’t Somebody Be My Friend by amanda_dcosta.

ALChemy6 Jun 2006

The cadence of your rhyme is too upbeat for a somber poem. One half expects a punchline at the end, which could actually work. See:

Then an angel came to apologize
-"We just noticed your last name's Bitler."-
-"Turns out all this terrible time
we thought we were screwing with Hitler."