Replying to a comment on:

Rapid Eye Movement (Free verse) by wilco

Harsh words and strained voices aside, there will be no pain in the eventual cease-fire of sleep. Nothing makes the night seem lonely like the soft fluttering in her shuttered eyes. In color schemes of shadow black her silhouette groans and turns and returns to silent slumber.

Quarton 17-Sep-05/9:43 AM
I agree with Dan. "Nothing makes the night so lonely"
seems rather awkward. Perhaps, "Nothing mkes the dream alive" Just a thought and a ten by my reckoning.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001