Before placing my name down to be dismissed as a meaningless negro, I should like to know the basis for the gradation of membership in greater detail. For example how many pubs in rural Oxfordshire would one have to obliterate before graduating to half-caste? If one grows a splendid pair of whiskers can one advance to being a gentleman's prune?

You may wish to know that the services of Fraser Allonby Q.C. can be retained for the payment of a large Melton Mowbary Pork Pie washed down with a stilton and port smoothie.

I'm to cool to be invited.

I'm part of the M.C. Hammer fanclub. pssh.