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Hugh Heffner's Halloween party (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
Dressed up as an heir to some Ketchup fortune I sip my martini with my pinky to the sky. I say very little in conversations, but when I do? It really counts. Things like: "Beefcake" "Ferrari" "Cold Fish" "Hush, speak only with your eyes" "Time, is a scale for the poor" And "Have you seen my Corgi, Mr. Frumples?" Having found a perfect seat to greet, and meet, I do. And though it's not mine for long, while it is? I hold court wowing chipper young Betties with my grasp of things like cooking, nursing, and quantum physics. I detect a theme here tonight and it's fishnet stockings, and Botox. Hugh easily shuffles among his guests. Hands smooth & floating inside his maroon smoker's jacket pockets. If not searching for a pipe than a wrench. Bill Moyer is dressed up like Sponge Bob. Though he reassures me that he's not here to soak up a thing. A Roman Soldier walks by, I say, "Jesus Killer" but he doesn't laugh. Next, comes a priest, I beckon him to me and ask him to forgive me for my sins. But he just turns around to revel his missing back half of his gown. Clad in an edible g-string, he has the word "Popalicious" written in shoe polish upon his ass. With a campy lisp he says, "I'll forgive you if you'll forgive me?" I decline, and make the sign of the cross. And right when I think that it can't get any better? Corey Feldman walks past dressed up as super man. Not knowing quite what to say I blurt out, "Anything's possible with a cape" He laughs and says, "Have you seen wonder woman?" I shake my head no, though it's obvious I have a Deep-seated desire to meet Mr. Robert Downey Jr.

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