There was a boy named Todd who liked to eat lots of sod He thought he was a toad carrying a heavy load Thinkin' he was a toad he took off all his clothes walkin' down the street he stopped at a bar called Moe's He walked inside and everyone stared amongst themselves comments they shared One woman screamed and picked up a stool she was gonna beat this fool She swung it wildly around while her date begged her to put it down So the bartender called the cops as he picked up two protective mops The sheriff pulled up and turned on his spot light yelled through the megaphone with all his might A mob formed in the bar and threw Todd out the sheriff read him his rights in a deafening shout In the car they went to take him off to jail where he met his true love who thought she was a snail They got released on good behavior and decided to commit themselves to the savior They planned to get married at the next full moon by a guy who thought he was a raccoon Nine months later a baby was born about what it was they were torn She loved it dearly and thought it was a bat he thought it was scrawny and might be a cat They got into a heated discussion about what it was then finally after hours decided it was a ball-o-fuzz On the way to the baby's blessing they were his by a guy who thought he was salad dressing written by T.S. and C.L. in an ever-lasting drunken stupor