On the subway, treking home from the bar, a pretty young girl set of my gaydar so I chose a seat with a clear veiw and she gave me a look that said "If you only knew" but I fumbled my return some where between the mouth and the brow and I'm still trying to figure out just quite how but it said something more like "I find you disgusting you dyke" pretty much pushing her off and making her walk all the while only wishing to talk and so that night I went home alone with not so much as a name in my phone and I poured myself a glass of wine, though I confess I was already liquored up fine, put on music slightly sadder than my mood and went to sleep in the nude The next morning found me awake only twelve hours after day break with burnt toast and cold eggs and unrelenting visions of her legs matched only by those from the night's rest of me laying upon her brest but those were lost by time I was up sinking quickly like the coffee grounds in my cup replaced by thoughts of the words I should have said and how their lack was matched in my bed