To S&P, you SP me, You sprinkle me over with sand. You cover me up with a porcelain pup, Your actions are so underhand. You dip me in salt And dunk me in pepper, You season me ready to bake. While I lie there so still, My eyes on the grill. You're a dog, a pig and a rake. To S&P, you SP me, You take all my goodness away. You leave me to soak Watched by a minder type bloke 'til I'm soft like some mouldable clay.