Loughborough is the setting, For yet another story, This time the protagonist, Is an ardent blue blooded Tory. But as we shall see, Our unfortunate new friend, Was graced with such poor luck, You’ll struggle to comprehend. You see the gentleman in question, Was a teacher at a school, Having theretofore been a pupil, At this educational jewel. He involved himself thoroughly, In local Conservative affairs, Such as deflowering and then beating, Those who don’t say their prayers. He was quite rightly judged, To be an upstanding public figure, The kind to whom we're all polite, But behind their backs we snigger. As a teacher he had greater passion, For the boys who were littler, And taught them to admire, That little German Hitler. He spent some time with computers, And what is wrong with that? Well nothing in theory, But it depends what your looking at. You see this particular individual, Somehow downloaded a virus, Which compelled the computers he touched, To be of small girls and boys desirous. Well imagine the shame that he felt, As he was placed under arrest, He damned the police forces eyes, And puffed out his pigeon chest. You see a blazer and school tie, May count for little with the law, But ‘mongst the Conservative Association, They are treated with deferential awe. When released on bail, He vowed to clear his name, It was clear to everyone, T’was the computer to blame. Imagine then the shock, When, within a month or two, He was again arrested, Again the charges were untrue. Two girls under the age of sixteen, Told a cruel malicious tale, When combined with his computer's dysfunction, It semed he was destined for the jail. How could these things occur? To a pupil and then teacher, Of a school where the love of boys, Was a commonplace feature. Could it be the school, To which parents paid high fees, Was infected with somekind of virus, A homo erotic disease? How unfortunate for our friend, Who lives in Derbyshire, That he will go to to prison, And be broken from the rear.