Has a gentlemen ever been so clean? When appearing on my television screen, The hero of many a pearl wearing teen, The lisping, foppish Sloane, Countryfile's Sylvester Stallone. A man who owns many fashionable sweaters, And knows his place amongst his betters, One of life's true go-getters, Causing damp patches on Surrey's sofas, Bestriding the world in Gucci loafers. A friend to cows and sheep across the land, Equally comfortable in pigshit or the Strand, His range of Guernseys’ are in great demand, The women of Somerset oft do ogle, The golden locks of our Ben Fogle.