The toilet paper tumbles And rolls right out the door, Just like my youthful figure Which belongs to me no more. The toilet paper bounces Along the busy street, Winning all the races —I could not even compete. The toilet paper unwinds Dropping unwanted pounds, He makes it look so easy As his merriment abounds. The toilet paper wobbles And dances to and fro, I can hardly keep a beat Let alone tap my ugly toe. The toilet paper rotates And begins to dizzy up, I sip my folger's coffee Out of a tiny paper cup. And the toilet paper staggers Then reduces to a roll, I've got this paper beaten! For in me, there is a soul!