From Then Till Now (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
So what will it be now that God is dead?
And I have worn my soles back home
To find desolate fields of trashy-lots, fenced
With ineligible signs tagged by Home-boys
For their rookas and hienas to behold:
Initials, hearts and forevers, before prison
Waiting rooms, and cold battered jail-phones.
What will it be when my body turns old
And I can no longer stomach the holes
Or quick fixes that get me broken smiles
As I move from room to room, bus to bus
Plane to plane, bed to bed -- Conversations.
Cheapened by shallow head trips and trite -
- small minded companions, (friends) relatives
Vultures dance the Watootsie for some grub.
What do I say to that fresh boy next to me
On a one way trip to Crackedactorville?
"Chin up, ass out, mouth wide, think Icarus"?
Or the sun, yes, what will I say to that bastard
Burning his days away like a spent hippy
While I darken, and wrinkle; then pale to smooth
While those closest to me are swept further away
By my Babylonian tower of lies and cheap talk.
Trust me, I try to think of better times, but -- Gone -
- Guided like a gondola full of stupid young love
Out into the canals of arterial clotting, and failure.
And you, ignorant as marshmallowed yams
Down the throat of fat aunts, and sugar daddies
My seed was for Galapagos like underwater -
- Lizards 'onto something better' vegging out.
What do I have but the cloudy sky, day and night
Sifting through my memories like a burnt edgy spoon
Scooping away symbols, and bargains, deals, flesh
But leaving the ice scream for me, and my pets
And the monsters that casually exit my closet to -
- help a guy out with a light, or say, a good fright.
L-trains plunder across my dream-scape, empty
People are nowhere, vanished, out of here.
Teachers, mentors, lovers, children, spaces, named
And then totally, and with out a doubt, forgotten
With each step towards, or from, indifference.
Like death, or catching a baby...
I am one throw away from the answer
But armless, a vet in a chair on a dare
Dreaming of sex with no hang-ups
And letters from a different time
When moving could be done, together.
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