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genome home zone (Free verse) by sarah i want to remember
i want to whisper
i know exactly what my dreams behold
i know the path is nearly ready
yet i am afraid
the human genome must have some little zone
i suppose you might call it the i don't want to leave home part of the
genome
... even if home is an emotional, miserly, miserable place
this genome pulls and tugs the heart with the want for a familar face
my dignity is drained
i have been down
yet kinetic in essence
like a cocoon
afraid to leave these same
-wandering-
...rooms...
i'll do it soon
Up the ladder:
Stealth Assassin (draft)
Down the ladder:
Emotions and the night
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Posted: April 18, 2004 7:17 PM PDT; Last modified: April 18, 2004 7:55 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9602656 Overall Rank: 8618 Comments:
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kill "of the genome"
"with the want for a familar" to "with want of familiar" - and a very good use of "familiar", too.
I think the ending doesn't do it justice - I know you know what you mean, but the promise of the beginning isn't followed through with this confessional wrap-up.
Know what I mean - one doesn't follow the other; this ending could be tacked onto anything.