poemranker ::Fishing Trip by darkshark

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Free verse № 94942

Fishing Trip

Member since 2003 · Posted 24 Mar 2004 · 2 comments

Two yards in a fishing boat, Is quite enough to hold two men, With rods and reels and tackleboxes, And a little room to spare. But three men make it uneasy, With teetering, uneven motion With every movement we make. Fewer fish for every time We break the surface Because someone was uncomfortable Feeling their knee Bump into someone else's. I sigh and shake my head. These are the times A man could begin to desire A deserted island and the chance To fish alone.

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mean 6.80 weighted 5.21 rank 4371 views 167 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

2 comments

[8] richa 25-Mar-04/5:17 AM Reply
Neatly done
[9] Shuushin 25-Mar-04/6:52 AM Reply
the tiny words that don't add value don't hurt this one as much because its a nice sentiment.

You could beef it up by trimming it down though - still - quite well done.