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Fishing Trip (Free verse) by darkshark
Two yards in a fishing boat, Is quite enough to hold two men, With rods and reels and tackleboxes, And a little room to spare. But three men make it uneasy, With teetering, uneven motion With every movement we make. Fewer fish for every time We break the surface Because someone was uncomfortable Feeling their knee Bump into someone else's. I sigh and shake my head. These are the times A man could begin to desire A deserted island and the chance To fish alone.

Up the ladder: Key to my heart
Down the ladder: Mixed Quartet

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.8
Weighted score: 5.2145653
Overall Rank: 4408
Posted: March 24, 2004 7:32 PM PST; Last modified: March 24, 2004 7:32 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] richa @ 81.178.214.98 | 25-Mar-04/5:17 AM | Reply
Neatly done
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 25-Mar-04/6:52 AM | Reply
the tiny words that don't add value don't hurt this one as much because its a nice sentiment.

You could beef it up by trimming it down though - still - quite well done.
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