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the door (Concrete) by wuying
In front of me, a door to no where lies what lurked behind it, no one really knew. A door that shivers, shudders, groans, and dies. It is a sad worn door of standard size about eight one or is it maybe two? A door that never speaks although it tries. It is a still observer, for with eyes it sees a person's soul no matter who. The closer that I come I realize. It was a door, no more, as time still flies a thousand people passed as time still flew. But they choose not to listen to its cries. I longed to venture in - but was it wise?? and torn in two, I knew not what to do. A step to cross the threshold broke my ties. I entered thru and to my great surprise, at last I understood that which was true. Behind me now, a door to no where lies. A door that shivers, shudders, groans, and dies.

Up the ladder: Dairy Dreams
Down the ladder: The Power of Green

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.3
Weighted score: 4.65
Overall Rank: 12295
Posted: August 14, 2002 9:37 PM PDT; Last modified: August 14, 2002 9:37 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] <~> @ 24.44.185.41 | 14-Aug-02/9:41 PM | Reply
what is the truth behind door #1? this could be a good story; i think the forced rhyming pulled you away from what you were trying to say. man, i feel dense tonight. maybe it is all there, and i just can't see it. is it?
[n/a] wuying @ | 14-Aug-02/9:48 PM | Reply
well, since i am still on here, i can supply a prompt response.
thanks for the comment - the door pretty much signifies any obstacle=great decision=anguish that is found in life. undeniably it is everpresent in form and form again, in being that there is no sidestepping it and everyone must either face up to their own difficulties, or forever remain in fear about it, of not knowing, etc.
and daunting as it is, the relative truth about the matter will not be revealed out until the treshold is traversed. hindsight being 20/20 and all that.
ok if i explain anymore i'm going to feel like an idiot.
[n/a] <~> @ 24.44.185.41 | 14-Aug-02/9:57 PM | Reply
okay, i get that, but not from the poem. for example, you say that the door never speaks, though it tries. i generally find obstacles to be indifferent to my plight. and, i'm sure that everyone and everything that challenges me does not have any special insight into my soul. i'm not trying to be argumentative; i just think this got a little mystical for what you were aiming at. and, why torn in two? see, i think there's much that can be said here, but i think you are not putting down everything you have worked through in your thoughts. have you read it aloud to yourself? sometimes hearing it is much much different than writing or reading it. the ears 'see' what the familiar eye does not. tighten.
[6] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.30 | 15-Aug-02/3:32 AM | Reply
Are you inspired by Wordsworth's immortal lines:

I've measured it from side to side
'Tis two feet long and three feet wide

By any chance?
[2] hipster flare @ 209.68.74.214 | 1-Oct-03/9:48 AM | Reply
Oh yeah, that's concerete. looks like a jagged edged something.
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