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I'd like to (Free verse) by Parlster
I'd like to go walk round the town today, but I'm feeling too old too slow. "He shouldn't be out on his own", you'll say, I think I'd rather not go. I'd like to go down to the shops today, but I'm feeling too old to slow. "He can't even count what's in his purse", you'll say. I think I'd rather not go. I'd like to stroll round the park today, but I'm feeling too old too slow. "Look at him all on his own", you'll say. I think I'd rather not go. I'll just sit right here in my chair today and watch as the time passes slow. "I think he's quite happy at home", you'll say. I'm sure you'd rather not know.

Up the ladder: The Tide
Down the ladder: Coat hanger

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.7310586
Overall Rank: 11818
Posted: August 7, 2002 3:32 PM PDT; Last modified: August 7, 2002 3:32 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] *Lyrisick* @ 205.188.209.107 | 7-Aug-02/3:45 PM | Reply
insightful and enlightening... good job Says DA1
[n/a] kawakurdi @ 213.122.71.93 | 7-Aug-02/3:52 PM | Reply
There is proper rhythm and rhyme and the repetition helps to convey the point. But the point is made pointless by the very contradiction that the monologuer is defeatist from within [I am feeling too old to slow] which makes him easily surrender to the others' perceived negative attitude [I'd rather not go]. So what is the point?
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