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Acrylic Sunrise (Free verse) by MacFrantic
I'll step into the dusk and wait for hours Flaunting midnight blues and grays Waiting for a yellowed moonbeam to appear The white breeze feels cooler tonight Although the violet skies exhibit summer Dawn has gone again in a flurry of silver Burning rouge about the open airs A flash of pink and orange ignites the early morning My tired mind wanders in a body splashed with gold To rest on a bed of amber hazel leaves Sleeping upon this vibrant ray of sun

Up the ladder: Ruler of My World
Down the ladder: The PROJECT

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6
Weighted score: 5.0715218
Overall Rank: 6611
Posted: January 8, 2004 11:51 AM PST; Last modified: January 8, 2004 11:51 AM PST
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Comments:
[7] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 | 8-Jan-04/2:01 PM | Reply
Love the title lots.

The litany of basic color names didn't quite work for me though. If it wasn't fairly similar in structure to something I just wrote, I might like it more (I've been in a "sky" phase).
[8] irishfolksuicide @ 81.178.254.156 | 9-Jan-04/1:43 PM | Reply
LSD?!

pink, orange, gold, amber.

Not bad but I have never seen midnight grey, and the midnight is already blue so there is not need to mention violet skies (a bit of a colour clash too).
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