Pimple № 78003

Digging A Grave

Member since 2003 · Posted 19 Dec 2003 · 1 comment

I'm digging my own grave Sorry if I'm beginning to rant and rave You just made me really sad Did you expect me to be glad? Yes, I am a little mad Because you lied to me And that made me feel really bad The dirt is flying behind me I'm trying to do the same with this bad memory The grave is taking out the sad My heart is soaking it up Like a stupid Fad I will now enter this grave Leaving the dirt up top I will now enter this grave Hoping all these mixed feelings will stop...

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mean 6.57 weighted 5.42 rank 3050 views 296 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

1 comment

[10] ShaNoN+960317485 20-Dec-03/1:14 AM Reply

And stop it shall? i dont know i can fullfill ya request fr critic i am not that gud...but i think each of us can help eachh other..
for starters:
1-"I'm trying to do the same with this bad memory" wud b better if u did away with 'with this bad', it kinda drags the idea.
2-"The grave is taking out the sad" i think i understand what you mean - but a little rearranging cud/might make it better
On the whole the piece aint super nor is it bad..enough fr me 2 give u a 10 atleast..
:o) TC