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My First Love Proposal (Free verse) by ShaNoN+960317485
As I open, a shutter close Maw search for the lost words As out come meaningless clause Punctuation’s and senseless pause A smile I stretch, forms a sneer Chunks of food there held by the cusp Along with the whiff of the last sup Rode snarled in wind-mare’s husk Eyes held, a stare stormed Veins of desire in web ensnared Pupil in eternal dilute stare Peeked the lines of oceans tear My hands waved, to paint the air But to it I flourished much confuse stock As in its dear flight came a stroke To cheek that broke into break a revoke Needless to speak, gainless to be told That a monster of her I hath mold The Angel bound in vicious hulk hold That spared my neck but staved my adore

Up the ladder: Litany
Down the ladder: Potential Tragedy

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Weighted score: 6.683452
Overall Rank: 528
Posted: November 10, 2003 6:04 AM PST; Last modified: November 10, 2003 6:04 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] ShaNoN+960317485 @ 199.40.206.3 | 10-Nov-03/6:06 AM | Reply
Hope such fell ideas never occure 2 me again:o)
[9] NoSage @ 63.190.81.230 | 10-Nov-03/5:45 PM | Reply
The rhyme scheme seems to break apart at apparently random intervals. Perhaps intentionally? still, I like the morbidity, it appeals to me.
[9] deleted user @ 211.24.241.13 | 10-Nov-03/10:05 PM | Reply
No Comment ...
[n/a] ShaNoN+960317485 @ 199.40.206.3 > deleted user | 11-Nov-03/8:05 PM | Reply
I gather this has happened 2 u:o)
231 view(s)




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