| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Life's Motive (Free verse) by kazeaki Crop emotions from the picture,
Pluck them from the throng,
For a thinking heart is trouble
If it's let thought too long.
Keep your eyes wide open
But clamp your mouth in bind,
For your tongue allies your heart
And speaks it's crimson mind.
Crawl away from life, love,
For your fear locks you away.
You can't hope to fly forward
With life's motive gone astray.
Up the ladder:
Poor Life
Down the ladder:
Tattered
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.4
Posted: July 30, 2002 9:49 PM PDT; Last modified: July 30, 2002 9:49 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9284782 Overall Rank: 9311 Comments:
[8]
god'swife @ 209.179.135.160
|
25-Aug-02/10:35 AM
|
Reply
If it's left to think too long, or if it's allowed too think to long, in the 4th line would make it easier for the reader. The 3rd stanza is so strong it could even stand on it's own. 8
129 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
