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8:45 AM Dentist Appointment (Free verse) by http://mulberryfairy
Each time she placed rubber gloved hands inside my mouth I gagged, my teeth’s chattering barely controlled by the light pressure of her hand. “You’re pale today. Are you feeling okay?” but how could I confess the source of my hypervigilant gag reflex and my gentle trembling with her hands between my jaws, reclined in this chair with the spotlight on my mouth? I blinked away tears hoping she was focusing on my teeth. Cleanings are too hard to reschedule for day sleepers, even on the morning I found her, naked, tanning bed tanned, blonde, blue, petite and pierced. She who I’d warned: “Place your loyalties with your sisters in humanity” had been discovered, trembling with the fear of my reaction under a comforter in our closet. “Ha a cole las week, still kinda pale,” I lied. Then it was silent except for the scrape, scrape of metal on tartar and enamel, the Oldies radio station playing “My brown-eyed girl”, and the distant, intermittent squeals of a drill. Until you, the convicted, showed up with our daughter. Her first cleaning at the age of four: the thoughtful receptionist suggested that she watch “Mom” first, “so she’ll know there’s nothing to be afraid of.” I looked into your mournful eyes sharply, your face was pale, too. A bubble of vivid images, hidden by my calm exterior and trivial small talk, gushed suddenly free while she flossed my molars landing on the tray of metal utensils and blood dabbed gauze: a pile of Pepto Bismal stained vomit.

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.571429
Weighted score: 5.422622
Overall Rank: 3043
Posted: July 25, 2003 6:42 AM PDT; Last modified: July 25, 2003 6:42 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] walrus8 @ 195.157.153.253 | 25-Jul-03/9:01 AM | Reply
I think you should replace the word "mouth" at the end of the third line with the word "anus":

Each time she placed
rubber gloved hands
inside my anus
I gagged,
my teeth’s chattering barely controlled
by the light pressure of her hand.
[n/a] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.146.239 > walrus8 | 25-Jul-03/9:09 AM | Reply
Thanks for the feedback, it will surely have a place in my revision.
[7] abecedarian @ 164.67.82.153 | 25-Jul-03/10:00 AM | Reply
You lied to your dentist!?

If you can't trust your friendly caring and sensitive dentist, who can you trust? Certainly not us!
[8] LuckyJoe @ 206.72.7.44 | 11-Aug-03/8:16 AM | Reply
You're right it was good. I was expecting something simple so didn't quite follow it the first time. Second read was much better had an understanding of everything that way. Thanks for suggesting and sharing.
[n/a] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.145.128 > LuckyJoe | 11-Aug-03/8:50 AM | Reply
Glad you read and liked it.
[n/a] peaceseeker @ 24.97.224.6 | 23-Aug-03/10:57 AM | Reply
Did you have a cleaning on the same day, after finding her in your closet?
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 | 6-Sep-03/10:58 PM | Reply
I'm much better than everything.
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