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Love Kills (Free verse) by Kitch Drown in to its sweetness stark naked.
Then hear the humming of its hives.
Sacrifice all strength for weakness,
then wait in the dark for the stinging,
When your bodies racked in pain,
sit and wait in the dark again,
Until you feel a thousand knives.
As you die an agonizing death this way,
Love kisses you taking your last breath away,
As you blink sporadically,
You see corpses of lovers,
but hurt so emphatically you can't even think,
Love will fuck you under the covers.
Love kills !
no one recovers.
Up the ladder:
Mommy Dearest
Down the ladder:
whatever
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.25
Posted: June 28, 2003 10:10 AM PDT; Last modified: June 28, 2003 10:10 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.7913947 Overall Rank: 11232 Comments:
Childish
168 view(s)
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Just a little opinion concerning the subject matter. Oh, yeah: Pain and again, do not rhyme.. say the word seperately and compare.. they dont flow together.. just because they both end in ain doesnt mean they rhyme.
For some reason the way this poem its presented, the meter and rhythm seems forced.. I suggest you sit with this piece, and think of how to reword it. It sure wouldn't hurt to think of more creative rhyming schemes.