Poemranker [Poem: Forever] [by Felzpoet] Sun Nov 24 10:18:21 PST 2024

Forever (Free verse) by Felzpoet

The sun has set on our day The colors of it are dulling to gray My love for you still burns like the sun Never out will my love for you run You will forever possess the key to my heart Even if we are forever apart I donât know how it will end or what is true But I do know this, that I will forever love you

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complaints about this poem?

Up the ladder: why should i

Down the ladder: contradiction and contrast

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)

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Arithmetic Mean: 0.2
Weighted score: 4.427826
Overall Rank: 12938

Posted: May 25, 2003 5:53 PM PDT; Last modified: May 25, 2003 5:53 PM PDT
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Comments:

[n/a] JackCrawley @ 166.102.174.141 | 25-May-03/7:34 PM | Reply

Hey, I understand that you're just trying to make things rhyme, but "Never out will my love for you run"? Come on, that one HURTS. As Churchill would say, it's "an outrage up with which I will not put."

Rule of thumb: If you have to mangle your syntax beyond recognition, the rhyme isn't worth it.

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