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You are not me (Free verse) by Mutant_X
nomatter how many people who would always stand beside me nomatter how many people would fight for me i realize it's always me on my own alone and that life,is the battle of which i'm determined to win no one can help me but me i'm strong even if sometimes i feel weak i'm strong not to give up on what i seek i'm strong because i got over me i've defeated me there will be many other battles,many other wars but i'm strong,i left because you never knew me because you thought i was the geek that everybody thought i was you never looked at me and saw further than anyone. you were no different,you made no difference now i look at you,i don't regret the love that was the greatest gift from you i don't regret all the words which were never true because i don't want to waste my time,trust me i got over you i laugh at you because you will never be me,and you will never be as strong as i am,you will never feel the love i feel every minute and every day of my life you will die by your knife by your lies,and you will be sorry for your self

Up the ladder: The Currency of Blood

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.7615943
Overall Rank: 11572
Posted: April 11, 2003 7:30 AM PDT; Last modified: April 11, 2003 7:30 AM PDT
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Comments:
[5] Mr Pig @ 62.105.88.10 | 11-Apr-03/8:11 AM | Reply
I see the tenderness of age in your work. As you become more life experienced your writing will evolve as it is with your work at present, the naivity somewhat burdens any serious writing.

We've all been there though so keep your pecker up. 5

I would be grateful if you would look at mine and offer me your views,

Thank you.
[n/a] Mutant_X @ 212.138.47.11 > Mr Pig | 11-Apr-03/3:40 PM | Reply
yeah,some of you people write so good, but knowing that you've been through this makes me feel better,thanks,and sure i will check yours.
[5] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 11-Apr-03/8:33 AM | Reply
A typical topical right down the receptacle, "now out the window".
[5] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.46 | 11-Apr-03/10:10 AM | Reply
Sample of line 21: I am no longer chained to you at my wristwatch. Take it one line at a time. Reword them without telling words such as: love, hate, pain,lies. Try not to repeat yourself: lines three and seven say the same thing. Keep trying.
[n/a] Mutant_X @ 212.138.47.17 > INTRANSIT | 11-Apr-03/3:37 PM | Reply
more and more i discover that i really appreciate constructive critiscm so thank you,you are really helping me.
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