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Knowing love (Free verse) by mckenzie It was that special thing is his voice.
Or maybe it was that gleam in his eyes.
Wait what if it was the way he said You'r name that lit up his whole
face.
I'm not sure but what ever it was its got me thinking is this love....
I think maybe it was when he put his hand to my face and my body
screamed.
Or prehapes it was when he kissed me and I went weak in the knees.
No hang on I never knew love until we were laying in bed side by side
and he looked at me..
Thats when i saw that gleam in his eyes.
From then on i knew i could never be the same women again with out him
by my side....
From that day on i started knowing love and all the wonders from it..
Up the ladder:
Forbidden Fruit
Down the ladder:
psudobackstabber
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.3333333
Posted: March 22, 2003 5:23 PM PST; Last modified: March 22, 2003 5:23 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.6821256 Overall Rank: 12121 Comments:
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Or the gleam in his eyes.
Wait, what if it was the way he said You'r name that unmasked his disguise.
I'm not certain,
but whatever the cause, my mind still questions
is this love?
I heard my body scream as his hands touched my face
I felt my knees weaken as he slowly kissed me
But these moments do not campare to when we laid
eye to eye in the bed we had shared
and knowing his thoughts as he stared
That was the look in his eyes
I will never be the same
With him by my side
And in that one brief moment,
In that space of time
When all else stood still
i met love...
(Your poem was good but it had too many excess words that slowed the pace and flow. The fewer words in most cases will better support your meaning and will keep peoples attention.) 5