Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

persistant doubt (Free verse) by sapphire_rain7
tonight i feel the familiar touch of loneliness it comes to me like an old friend wanting redemption but i have none to give it's been so long since i've lived i miss the hunger the longing and the knowledge that it was not in vain i was never full my heart is pulled on a chain one end connected to me the other connected to you the more i try to break it the stronger it gets nothing here on earth is stronger than the bond i formed with you rain on me your love pour on me your pain just get through to me somehow my soul, i'll let you claim again we were married ages ago instead of a ring i wear the scars you gave me like glass you cut through me shatter me again to leave me wondering: does doubt ever cloud your vision?

Up the ladder: Ode to Bad poetry
Down the ladder: First Impression

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 00
.. 30
.. 01
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.5
Overall Rank: 2698
Posted: July 13, 2002 10:19 AM PDT; Last modified: July 13, 2002 10:19 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[5] deleted user @ 66.8.154.13 | 13-Jul-02/2:15 PM | Reply
The poem needs something to unify it -- right now it feels like a wondering list of loneliness.
[8] itchiwitch @ 203.97.2.243 | 13-Jul-02/4:06 PM | Reply
You have captured loneliness and betrayal as it is in its moment of manifestation. The question in your last line leaves an opening for hope. Don't let the sadness stay with you much longer. Its time to find joy in your life again with someone new.
[2] ==Doylum @ 213.122.183.251 | 15-Aug-02/9:37 AM | Reply
Yes i doubt that this type of peom will ever cease to be created and posted on this site. Daily.
151 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001