time

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 Feb 2003 · 3 comments

Oh shabby rose you loll your weary head Two days you bloomed in earnest and stood proud But now beauty's gone your petals dead Your blackening leaves hang limply as your shroud For weeks the bees came calling to your bed And kissed your virgin petals with desire And with a maidens blush your cheeks shone red Effulgent with intense etheral fire But now your suiters call on you no more Your perfume gone your pollen sucked and dry And you are left alone bereft and poor As I am left alone to wonder why.

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mean 5.83 weighted 5.22 rank 4259 views 154 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

3 comments

[8] OneFingerAnswer 12-Feb-03/1:05 PM Reply

Nice. I'm a sucker for symbolism even when it's not intended. I don't know what you were thinking but I see an old lady losing her beauty and her friends. Sad but good. 7.5 (rounded up since we don't have halfs)

[8] god'swife 12-Feb-03/9:40 PM Reply

Shakespeare wrote many sonnets about time. I like yours. The second stanza especially. "pollen...dry" is rather harsh I think for such a pretty verse, my only complaint.

[n/a] keatsImnot › god'swife 13-Feb-03/2:13 AM Reply

Thanks for your comments, the "pollen sucked and dry" line I thought symbolised the distended and redundant breasts of a one time beauty and mother.