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time (Free verse) by keatsImnot Oh shabby rose you loll your weary head
Two days you bloomed in earnest and stood proud
But now beauty's gone your petals dead
Your blackening leaves hang limply as your shroud
For weeks the bees came calling to your bed
And kissed your virgin petals with desire
And with a maidens blush your cheeks shone red
Effulgent with intense etheral fire
But now your suiters call on you no more
Your perfume gone your pollen sucked and dry
And you are left alone bereft and poor
As I am left alone to wonder why.
Up the ladder:
Little Tounge
Down the ladder:
A Losing Streak
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8333335
Posted: February 12, 2003 1:42 AM PST; Last modified: February 12, 2003 1:42 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2241178 Overall Rank: 4263 Comments:
[8]
OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.5
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12-Feb-03/1:05 PM
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Reply
Nice. I'm a sucker for symbolism even when it's not intended. I don't know what you were thinking but I see an old lady losing her beauty and her friends. Sad but good. 7.5 (rounded up since we don't have halfs)
Shakespeare wrote many sonnets about time. I like yours. The second stanza especially. "pollen...dry" is rather harsh I think for such a pretty verse, my only complaint.
Thanks for your comments, the "pollen sucked and dry" line I thought symbolised the distended and redundant breasts of a one time beauty and mother.
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