poemranker ::Pain in Death by Freethinker1602

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Free verse № 34711

Pain in Death

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Jan 2003 · Edited 25 Jul 2003 · 6 comments

The first shot rings.... *BANG You feel your breath ebb away You can't see, pulse quickens The silence makes your head throb The sound returns again to your conscious Mocking you for ever caring The second shot rings Bang The noise seems further away now Memories much too painful, confusion Is it possible to become one with death? Just to know that the killer remains silent is pain If only you knew of a way for vengence to be right Would it make the ringing stop? The final shot is there to take your soul bang If it were your way you'd go free Prepare, the blade is double edged though it Pierces your skin it still slays your soul Do you know what you could have been thinking Their pain would never ease yours The noise is gone it will only haunt you The sanity no longer in question Though the memory is equally haunting Why did we once think of killing.... But now which path is just To stop feeling the pain, sacrifice the happiness

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mean 3.75 weighted 4.85 rank 10500 views 246 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

6 comments

[n/a] horus8 9-Jan-03/12:06 AM Reply
there's gold in thim thier hiles.??
[8] Caducus 9-Jan-03/1:52 AM Reply
Impressive, but why that thing at the end? your poem is moving enough just dedicate it thats a 2 word salute,
Condolences ! -8-
[10] Ranger 9-Jan-03/2:31 AM Reply
Nice work. Oh, what a surprise, you've mysteriously gathered an anonymous vote of four...what maturity is displayed by people on this site.
And they tell me that I'm obsessed with votes.
[9] ChunkyHunkyMonkey 9-Jan-03/5:07 PM Reply
pretty good i liked it
[8] Topaz Servias 12-Jan-03/7:43 PM Reply
Very nicely done, shows REAL talent for this.
[9] William Delacroix 17-Sep-03/7:07 AM Reply
I love pain. 9/10.