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Pain in Death (Free verse) by Freethinker1602
The first shot rings.... *BANG You feel your breath ebb away You can't see, pulse quickens The silence makes your head throb The sound returns again to your conscious Mocking you for ever caring The second shot rings Bang The noise seems further away now Memories much too painful, confusion Is it possible to become one with death? Just to know that the killer remains silent is pain If only you knew of a way for vengence to be right Would it make the ringing stop? The final shot is there to take your soul bang If it were your way you'd go free Prepare, the blade is double edged though it Pierces your skin it still slays your soul Do you know what you could have been thinking Their pain would never ease yours The noise is gone it will only haunt you The sanity no longer in question Though the memory is equally haunting Why did we once think of killing.... But now which path is just To stop feeling the pain, sacrifice the happiness

Up the ladder: Sickness
Down the ladder: My Poemranker Inbox

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.75
Weighted score: 4.8509965
Overall Rank: 10516
Posted: January 8, 2003 10:33 PM PST; Last modified: July 25, 2003 11:52 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 9-Jan-03/12:06 AM | Reply
there's gold in thim thier hiles.??
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 9-Jan-03/1:52 AM | Reply
Impressive, but why that thing at the end? your poem is moving enough just dedicate it thats a 2 word salute,
Condolences ! -8-
[10] Ranger @ 212.219.142.161 | 9-Jan-03/2:31 AM | Reply
Nice work. Oh, what a surprise, you've mysteriously gathered an anonymous vote of four...what maturity is displayed by people on this site.
And they tell me that I'm obsessed with votes.
[9] ChunkyHunkyMonkey @ 205.188.209.107 | 9-Jan-03/5:07 PM | Reply
pretty good i liked it
[8] Topaz Servias @ 68.100.154.95 | 12-Jan-03/7:43 PM | Reply
Very nicely done, shows REAL talent for this.
[9] William Delacroix @ 206.116.186.109 | 17-Sep-03/7:07 AM | Reply
I love pain. 9/10.
246 view(s)




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