Unwilling and Unknowing

I can easily recall how sweet your body smelled as my nose pressed into your shoulder. And how I would reach out, tentatively, and touch that empty flesh. Turned away from me cool and indifferent and yet radiating fire within. I always wondered why you were so afraid to let go of yourself and find comfort in all I offered. I wished you weren't so afraid to see how far my heart could carry you. But you could never spread those wings for me. And so I find contentment in those things that never were. And every night I go to sleep with my nose buried in your shoulder again. I revel in that smell that touch that feeling you made me feel. And I remember you always, unwilling and unknowing.