Space Age Bun Rigidifier

Of course I'd like buns of steel but two hundred dollars seems kind of steep for your Space Age Bun Rigidifier. I can have the video free if I order now? What's that, patented design developed by a group of rocket scientists; ten years in research and development? Okay, I'll take one. Really, buy one and get one free? Sounds like a great deal. I never could pass up a bargain so guess I'll take them but I'm not sure why. One burial plot would probably do. Oh yeah, going out of business sale? Incredible, 90% off on some items, mostly out of style clothing. Better give me the narrow white tie, green polyester bell bottoms and a pair of your brown wing-tip shoes. By the way, how long have these been in stock? You're not sure but think Jimmy Carter was president? Your mail order prices are unreal, a dishwasher for only eighty bucks! Could you ship it this week? Come again, shipping charge is how much? Five hundred bollars plus tax and you've already put it on my Visa; all sales final? What, allow three months for delivery? How will that be sent, Pony Express? No, I've never heard of Ace Discount Shipping and Towing service. Unbelievable price for the set of knives and I like the hundred year warranty but, what do you mean by non-transferable? Wait, you say there's more, a free set of steak knives if I order now? Will they cut through a beer can like your other knives? What do you mean, not exactly? A real cream puff is it, one owner driven by a little old lady, only to church and the supermarket? Gee, I'm not sure. Over a hundred thousand miles seems rather high. Could I have her name and number? Oh, that's a shame. How long ago did she pass away? You'd like to interest me in an investment deal, a can't miss opportunity? Wait a minute, ocean front lots in Florida, down in the Everglades? Really, they captured all the alligators and shipped them to Mississippi? Come on, a bridge in Brooklyn for sale? That's tne oldest con job in the world. I mean, do I look stupid? Well, yes, I did buy two burial plots and a pair of green bell bottoms. What's that? Yeah, and a thin white tie with a pair of brown wing-tip shoes. Okay, smart ass! Plus a Space Age Bun Rigidifier. By the way, do you know of anybody who might be interested in a burial plot at 50% off. Yeah, the same to you buddy!