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Slow Dance (Free verse) by jdsnyd
heavy gelatinous humid air lumbering through open window screen stained nicotine yellow the world moves by slower than normal, machinery turned down a notch conserving energy music wafts in hanging heavy in this carbon based soup I'm inclined to linger here, no will to build one movement on another heart piercing blues riff shatters complacency and my soul moans for Elysium wonder down catacombs long repressed immaculate cognizance leers menacingly at the new world order and paper trails leading nowhere you always said we'd die here... maybe that's not as bad as living here one slip, and into the jagged shards of arduous glass seems I've bled rivers, but it was never enough distracted, you tended your own wounds as our sins manifested tumors on fertile skin roving hooligan clouds full of empty promises of rain bore down on the human vortex celebration and dancing began at the mere promise of relief relief that never came too embroiled in Faustian zeal no one took notice.... and the dance went on

Up the ladder: downtime
Down the ladder: MY dear friend

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7640
Posted: November 15, 2002 2:35 PM PST; Last modified: November 21, 2002 12:11 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 22-Nov-02/6:13 AM | Reply
this is a seminal piece of work, some wonderfully constructed stanzas and it lifed off right from the start.
I want more info on this story i'm at work and cant concentrate please give me the story of this if you can? (i only have chance to read/submit poems at work as i have no computer at home
[n/a] jdsnyd @ 24.158.240.61 > Caducus | 22-Nov-02/9:09 AM | Reply
Thanks for the comments Caducus. I'm not always good at explaining these, sometimes I don't know, but I'll try. I wrote this on a hot humid day, probably in a state of mid summer lethargy. To me it just expresses a kind of smoldering irritation at humans in general, and some of the circumstances in my own life, recent separation, approaching mid-life and so on. This just kind of bled out and stands mostly in it's original state. Thanks again for the comments, I hope that helps.
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