A Green Moons Haze

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 Nov 2002 · 4 comments

Lying under a green moons haze, the view from my window seems insignificant. The lightning bugs play tag around the gorged budding tree. My thoughts drift away with the sympathetic summer wind. I am numb. The worries of the world seem meaningless at this point. I try to picture a faultless sunrise. The haze has gotten closer to my heart. My dreams run out my mouth then fall and hit the floor. Shattered into a thousand pieces my life seems to be a jigsaw puzzel. I am numb. The feeling of life has filled threw my fingertips and leaked out the sides. I have fallen to the cold floor trying to regain countenance. I am numb.

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4 comments

[6] <~> 11-Nov-02/5:57 PM Reply

almost there....
but jigsaw aren't jagged (shattered, whatever) even though they are confusing and in a thousand pieces. dammit man! (woman)! you are a tease. shape this up. the bit about the haze seeping closer to your heart is eerily brilliant, damn you. i demand a rewrite.

[8] Caducus 12-Nov-02/2:35 AM Reply

Cool Ode

I too am numb

[10] deleted user 29-Jan-03/5:22 PM Reply

nice, i like when you have to reread sopmething, it's a sign that its good work, i'll give it a 10

[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom 29-Jan-03/5:29 PM Reply

I agree its a ten but you might change threw to through. It'd make it so that someone didn't mentally trip over your words, unless that was what you were going for.